COMING ON MAY 21ST

The real side effects of caffeine withdrawal

The world is not a safe place for the consistently clumsy or the awfully awkward. I’ve found that this is particularly true now that I’m caffeine deprived. I gave up coffee for a couple weeks and I’m not ashamed to say that, in the beginning, I was as jittery as a heroin addict jonesing for her next fix.

In addition to being sluggish in the morning, the lack of caffeine turned me into a bungling butterfingers. I was dropping things, bumping into corners and tripping over real and imagined objects. In one particularly bizarre incident, the belt of my housecoat snagged in the door of a cupboard (I re-enacted the horror in the photo above). The snagging of my belt caused me to fall to the floor, spilling my mug of herbal tea (it tasted like old gym socks anyway) and I smashed my already sore shoulder on the tile floor. It was like I was auditioning for my own part on Loony Tunes .

The good news? I am now able to consume a cup of coffee every few days and my overly clumsy stage seems to have ended (although I’ll never be graceful) . Other good news? I’m totally enjoying the current book I’m writing. It hasn't found a publishing home yet, however, so if you're looking for something to read click here for some suggestions.

How about you? Are you the poised and graceful type?  

Ode to my ice pack

Although it was mucho fun writing most of Dead Suite and all of  Drop Dead Beauty using mostly my right hand, on Tuesday I had surgery on my left shoulder and am now typing with two hands! 

I never thought much about my shoulder until it became extremely owchie last July. Many x-rays, MRI's, doctor visits and sleepless nights later, the problem is fixed. At least it will be, after months of physio. However, I'm back to 80 words-a-minute and, with the help of my beloved ice-pack, I'm writing with BOTH hands.

To celebrate, here is an Ode to My Ice-Pack. You're welcome:

Tis the gentle coolness of thy touch
That makes me sigh with relief
That thou relieves my shoulder of its pain
With numbness I desire much
Although evil physio causes hurtiness
Your lovely freezing doth help my gain.

There's  reason I'm a novelist and not a poet!

Now I return you to your regular day while I go about writing my next book. Hope you're feeling poetic today too!